‘The Lord told me you are my life partner’… this is a very common statement among Christians today.
Does God really speak to people concerning their partner?
Is God still in the business of leading people in their choice of partner?
Is there really a perfect match for me out there?
These are few of the questions ringing in the heart of young souls.
Some say God doesn’t need to tell you who to marry; just search out a good lady or guy and settle down…God will bless your marriage.
While some also believe that you have to tarry and allow God to choose for you, and so they are still ‘tarrying’
There is no doubt that lots of atrocities have been committed with the slogan ‘the Lord says’, but the beautiful truth is that God still speaks and He is still in the business of leading people in their choice of marital partner; but the question is “Do you want him to?”
People want God to lead them in their marital choice but would not consult him in other areas of their lives. Note this; your marital life is not ‘more’ special to God than other areas of your life so God will not lead you differently than he has always been leading you in other issues of your life.
When God’s will is been mentioned, the image that comes to lots of people’s mind is “one haggard looking unattractive illiterate poor person who they wouldn’t be proud of….” Hence, they don’t bother to consult God at all. I have to confess here that God’s perfect will don’t usually come in attractive packages but I can assure you that you can’t do better that God in making choices. He knows the end already; in fact your life is ‘past tense’ to him.
So first and foremost, you have to settle it in your mind that God loves you and he wants the best for you. He knows how to give good gifts to his children (Matt 7: 9-11).
What is the will of God?
This is what God wants for you per time as it is the best thing for you at that time and at other times. It covers every area of our lives: choice of school, course of study, choice of career and job, company of friends etc and of course, choice of marital partner.
Truthfully speaking, God’s will for some people is to remain single (at the time they desire it). God has not really said it is not good for them to be alone, because it is actually good for them to remain single (at that point in time) as being married will do them more harm than good.
The will of God for you might not necessarily be the most comfortable or attractive thing but it is definitely the best thing that can ever happen to you at any point in time.
Types of will
To my knowledge so far, I know we have
- Good, Acceptable, Perfect will of God. ( Rom 12: 2)
- Permissive will of God (I Sam 8:1-21)
There is a good, acceptable and perfect will of God for everybody but just like Rom 12:2 says, you have to prove it. You have to desire it, seek it and wait on God for it. But God will still communicate it to you through the means he uses as any other time. The commonest way God leads us is through the inner witness by His Spirit that dwells within us. Whatever leading you get, prove it by subjecting it to the test of the scriptures; for God will never contradict His word.
There is also the permissive will of God as we can see in I Sam 8: 1-21. Having a king wasn’t the perfect will of God for the Israelites, but they cried unto God for a king and he gave them even though reluctantly. He still appointed the king for them, he didn’t leave them to make the choice and he still blessed them and their king. But you know in the long run, they entered into many difficulties which would have been avoided if God had remained their King.
So therefore, there is a perfect Man or Woman out there, who is the perfect will of God for you. You can choose to wait on God and prove his perfect will or you can choose to go ahead and make a choice. God will bless it if you want him to as far as you are not unequally yoke with unbelievers.
In conclusion, if you decide to wait (which I strongly advise), don’t do it mopping around, keeping a pitiable attitude or feeling rejected and dejected. But enjoy the waiting, enjoy the stage; life is in stages, each stage never comes back. You only have ‘one time’ to be single, after which you move on to the next stage.
God doesn’t always come early, and he doesn’t come late either; he comes just at the ‘right time’. So wait up n enjoy waiting!